Showing posts from January, 2008

Where I am today

By Red Grammer © 1994 Smilin' Atcha Music, Inc.I used to think I knew
Everything I needed to
I know how crazy it sounds
Thank God He led me 'roundTo where I took a mighty step
And left all I was sure of
Walked off a ledge sight unseen
With no idea of where it was leadingAnd now I'm Free Falling.....
Oh I'm filled with the sound
Of where it is that I am boundAnd I'm trying
I've never looked behind
Since I've learned to flyI took my step faithfully
I took it like I knew
Exactly where I was going
But it is surely new for meAnd here I am in panic
Here I am awash at sea
Asking God to help me through
The very thing I needed to doIt's a Free Falling......I know
I have my lessons too
And I have my bridges to burn
And I have my roads I must leave behind..........I'll tryI used to think I knew
Everything I needed to...I heard this song for the first time this past s…

Virtual Therapy

A friend in one of my 12 step groups sent this to me, and I felt so moved ( a recent change in my emotional landscape, I might add) that I want to pass it on to the wonderful people who read this blog. These words express how I feel about everyone in my life right now, even the people I have had disagreements. Except Dick Cheney and Condaleeza Rice. No, even them. Sorry, God. I'm new at this. So anyway, since I can't figure out how to make a link "live" on blogspot, you'll have to copy and paste the URL to see the video.

Neil Gaiman answered me!

OK, y'all HAVE to forgive me for doing a total geek-out here! Neil Gaiman, author of my all-time favorite graphic novel series, "The Sandman", replied to an email I wrote! I can't believe it; that's just unreal! I've been reading his work for almost ten years now and it blows my mind that this prolific writer would take the time to answer a fan girl's email! I was talking to my oldest daughter on the phone while reading my email, and I let out this apparently very loud shriek that deeply disturbed Clarissa.

Clarissa: Mom, what's wrong with you?

Me: Neil Gaiman emailed me!

Clarissa: Ok. (pause) Who's Neil Gaiman?

I forgive my daughter because she knows not what she does. Anyway, it started with a bulletin that he sent out on myspace (I'm one of his myspace friends) about a video that was done in the UK about author Alan Moore. I'm not familiar with Alan Moore's work, but he's going on my list of authors to read. In fact, he&#…

Getting ready

When I was a journalist way back in the day, I had the privilege of interviewing Stokley Carmichael*, aka Kwame Toure'. He was coming to Sacramento for an appearance at California State University at Sacramento, so I was dispatched to cover his presentation. At one point during his talk, he told the audience that when his phone rang, he always answered "Ready for the revolution!" He also said that CIA probably didn't appreciate his greeting. Can't please everyone. J. Edgar Hoover was more likely most unhappy with Brother Toure's greeting.

Anyway, the revolution didn't continue in the way Kwame and others had envisioned after the 60s and 70s. But that doesn't mean that there will be no revolution. The next one, as Gil Scott Heron said, will not be televised. It will be live and it will take place in the hearts of every single person on this planet.

Some of my very favorite bloggers, Phillipe, Liz and Malik are getting ready. Check out what they …

More about motive

I realized that I intended to write a bit more about "motive". It's such a disarming thing to deal with because I've come to realize that in spite of my consciously good intentions in my dealings with people, I have dark, self-absorbed and needy motives underlying some of my actions. This is quite disturbing to me, although I realize that it only makes me human like everyone. But...I wanted to be so much BETTER! (sigh) The things I've come to learn about myself ever since I stopped eating addictively (thank you, God) have been both alarming and enlightening.

So I did manage to write about the message I absorbed in early childhood about being a woman and feeling less than a man. But I didn't talk about how that has affected my life. The best way I can describe it is that growing up a tomboy was one way I coped with that deep-seated feeling of invalidation. It was very empowering to be able to beat the boys at their own game. Unfortunately, that lasted …

Idle Fancies and Vain Imaginations

We have forbidden men to walk after the imaginations of their hearts, that they may be enabled to recognize Him Who is the sovereign Source and Object of all knowledge, and may acknowledge whatsoever He may be pleased to reveal. Witness how they have entangled themselves with their idle fancies and vain imaginations. By My life! They are themselves the victims of what their own hearts have devised, and yet they perceive it not. Vain and profitless is the talk of their lips, and yet they understand not.

We beseech God that He may graciously vouchsafe His grace unto all men, and enable them to attain the knowledge of Him and of themselves. By My life! Whoso hath known Him shall soar in the immensity of His love, and shall be detached from the world and all that is therein. Nothing on earth shall deflect him from his course, how much less they who, prompted by their vain imaginations, speak those things which God hath forbidden.

(Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha…

And finally...

Yes, it was very funny to me, too.

World's Angriest Cat

I understand the cat's feelings. Just let it out, even if some well meaning person wants to smooth things over. Burger had no Fries, and Fries go with the Shake. I'd scream, too.

Pinky the Cat

Ok, I can use a few laughs right now. Warning: I have a warped sense of humor. And this cracked me up!

For Anthony

Donny Hathaway Someday We'll All Be Free

I don't know if this is one of the Donnie Hathaway songs that you like, but it seems to be saying what I'm feeling right now, along with the sadness and grief. I have to believe that one day we will be able to talk reasonably to each other. If not, please know that you will always be a fond memory of a time in my life that I took a chance, and for the first time ever, allowed love in.

Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood

Teddy Pendergrass - Love TKO

Sleepless in Sacramento


Severs arteries
cuts tendons
crushes bones
forget foolish
and stubborn
It destroys
our soul.


Note: The following quote was written during the 1930s, a time in which the use of the term "Negro" was considered acceptable.

Let the white make a supreme effort in their resolve to contribute their share to the solution of this problem, to abandon once for all their usually inherent and at times subconscious sense of superiority, to correct their tendency towards revealing a patronizing attitude towards the members of the other race, to persuade them through their intimate, spontaneous and informal association with them of the genuineness of their friendship and the sincerity of their intentions, and to master their impatience of any lack of responsiveness on the part of a people who have received, for so long a period, such grievous and slow-healing wounds. Let the Negroes, through a corresponding effort on their part, show by every means in their power the warmth of their response, their readiness to forget the past, and their ability to wipe out every trace of suspicion…

Life happens, and I'm not a hero

Life is crazy. Or so it seems to me lately, even more than usual. And I thought I was used to the craziness. After all, I am a member of the Shortt family, a group of people who are synonymous with crazy (read some of my previous blogs for proof). However, the lesson I'm supposed to learn from this newly experienced level of insanity is to accept life on LIFE'S terms, not my own. I will be fifty years old on March 27th of this year, and it's taken this long for me to realize this. As a result of my sputtering but more and more diligent efforts to work my recovery program from food addiction, I continually receive major shocks to my system as I uncover more evidence that I know very little about how to live a healthy, well balanced life. This morning after prayers I read the following thoughts for the day from a meditation book called Twenty Four Hours A Day (Hazelden Press):

I know that my new life will not be immune from difficulties. (Angela's observation: Wha…

Mighty Mouse vs. The Wolves

My childhood hero and role model. It's so corny by modern television standards, but I can see the pseudo-psychoanalytical reasons why I was so drawn to watching this.