Showing posts from April, 2008

On being plus-sized

I hope you will copy and paste the URL that I posted below. It leads to an ABC World News video about a plus-sized model who is competing for the Miss England title. She's a beautiful girl, probably a size 16-18 in US women's clothing sizes:

I have mixed feelings about the plus sized beauty thing. On one hand, I think it's very important for every woman to see herself as beautiful. On the other hand, it's easy to slip into denial about morbid obesity and play a very dangerous game with life, which is what I did.

(For those of you who are new to my blog, welcome. I'm referring to some of the seriously life threatening problems that I developed as a result of my chronic food addiction. I discussed those complications in an earlier blog titled "My Story".)

In 1981, I was a plus-sized model for Lane Bryant, a chain retail store that specializes in clothes for large women. I didn't stay w…

Going public...

Last fall, I wrote a story about a few of the adventures my family had while living on Clark Air Force in the Philippine Islands from 1966-1968. (Any military brats out there? Holla!) After several revisions, I submitted the story for publication in Susurrus, Sacramento City College's literary magazine. I was thrilled that it was accepted. Now I've been asked to do a public reading of my story, along with other Susurrus authors. The event is going to be held at Sacramento City College's small auditorium (room A6) on Saturday, May 3 beginning at 7 pm. I'm probably going to be a little nervous because I haven't done a reading in at least seven, maybe eight years. Yikes! Why did I say yes? Now I'm really nervous!

But this is actually a warm-up for two nerve-wracking challenges that I have been needing to confront, but I couldn't seem to muster the necessary courage to do so. So I told myself that if my Philippines story was accepted, I would take that…

Can't think of a title...

At first, I was going to call this post "Untitled", but that made me think about that incredible D'Angelo video from a few years back...sigh. Oh. My. GOODNESS! My, my, my. Whew! All right, now. That just brought on the first hot flash of the season. Where ARE you, D.? I mean, you don't have to do another "Untitled" video 'cos, seriously, women my age can only take so much! Last time I watched the aforementioned one, I had to go get a bag of frozen peas for my forehead!

We interrupt this post for an emergency broadcast of youtube's D'Angelo video....

Angela, keep your head to the sky and your mind out of the gutter! Good God Almighty, I need help right now! 'Scuse me....

OK, I'm back, frozen peas and all. Time to get serious. (Angela cues up Beethoven's Symphony No.9) That's better. Nothing like the theme song to "The Nightly News with Chet Huntley and David Brinkley" to bring me back down to Terra Firma.


Lessons from "The End of the Affair"

I received the movie "The End of the Affair" from Netflix last Tuesday, but I didn't watch it until Sunday evening. The reason why I took so long to watch it was I couldn't shake off the chilling sense of foreboding every time I thought about putting the movie into my DVD player. My practical sense finally took over and told me to watch it. After all, that's why I pay the fees to Netflix each month, whether I watch a new movie or not. So I fixed my little meal of a turkey burger (all white meat,and it turned out to be rather dry), spinach and green beans, and sat down to a solo "dinner and a movie" date. Hey, it's the best I can do these days.

The first sign of trouble was that I couldn't keep the spinach down, and I kept pausing the movie to dash to the bathroom. I didn't cook the spinach or the turkey burger in enough broth so it was sufficiently digestible for my surgically altered stomach. I won't do that again. I can't have …

Adding my Facebookpage to Blogger

Angela: Facebook, meet my Blogger account, Blogger meet my Facebook account, which is...I'm not sure; I can't see the URL from here. Oh, well, you know where it is.

Facebook and Blogger: Pleased to meet you! (They smile and shake hands.)

Angela: All right! Now I'm sure we'll all be the bestest of friends! :)

To Russia, With Love...

When my kids were about 15 years younger than they are now, we often watched T.V. together. None of this Mom-has-hers-and-the-kids-have-theirs kind of stuff. First of all, I couldn't afford more than one television. Second, I discovered that I liked watching shows with my children. It gave us an opportunity to have some very interesting discussions about a number of topics.

For instance, one evening we were watching a show about the Cold War that was more than likely on PBS. The program showed some old newsreel footage of school children doing the "duck and cover" during a nuclear air raid drill. I began cracking up laughing, and as usual, my kids looked at me as if I needed to put in a padded cell. But I couldn't help it. The sight of those kids from the 50s hiding under their desks as if that was sufficient protection from a nuclear mushroom cloud was hysterically funny to me.

One of them finally asked me why I was laughing, and to my surprise, I couldn't…

Something to think about...

My friend Cindy forwards emails to me that are sometimes thought-provoking, and other times unbelievably silly. She calls them "funny", but I have to tell her sometimes that I find them tasteless. We've known each other for over twenty years now; so she doesn't even take offense. Today, however she sent one that was thought-provoking, and the other one was hilarious. I grew up in a home where red pepper flakes, Tabasco, Red Dot hot sauce, jalapeños, and salsa were always placed at the center of the table during EVERY meal. And we seriously used that stuff!

First one is for anyone who has had trouble understanding the opposite sex. I guess that includes everyone. I know I'm in that category.

TGIF: Today God Is First
by Os Hillman

Square Peg in a Round Hole

"Indeed, God has put the body together in such a way that he gives greater dignity to the parts that lack it, so that there will be no disagreements within the body, but rather all the parts will be equall…

It's her fault!

Los Angelista inspired me to indulge in some more of these silly quizzes when she asked me about the superhero test. So I returned to site, and hark, more tests! Folks I couldn't resist. This may become my new obsession if I'm not careful! :)

I only did two, however. The first one, yeah, it figures. I was meant to be a boomer. I seriously fit the profile.

You Belong in the Baby Boomer Generation

You fit in best with people born between 1943 and 1960.

You are optimistic, rebellious, and even a little self centered.

You still believe that you will change the world.

You detest authority and rules. Deep down, you're a non conformist.

What Generation Do You Belong In?

I couldn't resist the second test. Y'all know I'm a total nerd and proud of it!

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause.

You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them.

Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men …

What I've learned at Bosch

Before I describe what I learned at Bosch, I have to tell you a story. Depending on your own point of view and experiences with relationships (not just romantic, but all types of relationships), you get to decide whether this story has a "happy ending" or not.

Ironically enough, I attended my community's annual weekend at Bosch on what would have been my 27th wedding anniversary, had I made the mistake of remaining married to a man with a very serious mental illness and addiction issues. In all these intervening years, I only remembered the day my divorce was finalized. If anyone asked me what day I married my ex, I would tell them very honestly, that I didn't remember. I didn't want to recall something that turned out to be so nightmarish.

Please keep the above statements in mind while I get on with the story. In August 1994, seven years after my divorce was granted, I began my first semester as a graduate student in English at California State University, Sa…

More tests!!!

Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Score: 95%

Your Intrapersonal Intelligence is Very High

You've spent a lot of time introspecting, and it's really paid off.
You are comfortable with who you are, and you have a life philosophy that you are happy to live by.
And you're always re-evaluating what you believe. Because you learn something new about yourself each day!
How Does Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Rate?

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy:

Your propensity for monogamy is high.
You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person.
And in return, you expect the same from who you love.
Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.

Experience Level:

Your experience level is medium.
You probably have had a couple significant loves.
And you may have even had your heart broken.
But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people.


Your dominance is medium.
You tend to be the one with more power.
You aren't a total control freak in relationships..
But of…

Getting healthier

In spite of my recent health crisis and two surgeries coming up in the future (hip replacement more than likely this summer), I am getting pretty healthy on the outside. I had a long series of blood and urine tests done February 23, and for the first time ever, EVERYTHING came back normal, according to Dr. Lo, my primary care physician. Normal. Wow. I never thought I would see that word used in reference to me. The tests that I was mostly concerned with were my lipid panel (measuring the level of cholesterol and fats in my body), glucose (fasting), and my iron and Complete Blood Count (CBC). Due to my family history of heart disease, hypertension and diabetes, the lipid and glucose levels were very important. During many of my relapses into food addiction, my lipid panel indicated that I was courting serious danger, and I needed to make some dietary changes. On September 18, 2006, I was back into the food, big time. Here are the numbers for my lipid panel:
Cholesterol 233

Home again...

After a wonderful weekend with my Baha'i community (Rancho Cordova) at Bosch Baha'i School, I realized that I need to be out in nature a little bit more. It felt so good to breath fresh air, even though some of it smelled like skunk over by our cabins. That's the chance you take when you go beyond the smog-infested confines of city life. You get Mother Nature at her best and worst. Luckily, I experienced mostly the best, which was a healing for the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual body. I really needed that.

I did, however, have to rest a lot more than usual, and I didn't get to play with the kids. They had a great time playing volleyball and baseball, and I wanted to re-new our wolf pack howl, which was such a big hit with everyone but the other adults last year. :) Yes, I know I'm 50 years old! And? I love goofing off with the kids, and they seem to get a big kick out of the fact that Ms. Angela, who is a good friend of their parents, can play aro…

At Bosch

I'm posting this from the absolutely gorgeous (and pleasantly warm) Bosch Baha'i School in the Santa Cruz mountains. I'm here with my Baha'i community, Rancho Cordova, for our annual community weekend retreat, where we get together to laugh and play, pray and meditate, deepen and discuss. I'm doing a four hour presentation on the Hidden Words and the Seven Valleys (I won't have time for the Four Valleys). My emphasis will be on losing our attachments/addictions to the material aspects of life, and opening up to manifesting more spiritual communication with God on a daily basis.

I've come to believe that people not only teach what they know best, but what they want to know more. I know more than most people should about addictions and attachments, and now I want to know more about God. Even if I studied 24 hours a day for the rest of my life, I would never know enough. But I'm trying. And I'm hoping that this weekend, I'll learn a little bi…

About racism...

For obvious reasons, racism is a huge issue for me, and it has been for as long as I can remember. I can recount numerous incidents of both blatant and covert racism, if I thought it would do any good. I suspect that like so many emotionally volatile subjects, "anecdotal" evidence would be dismissed as merely subjective. In fact, that has been my experience--I'm being too sensitive concerning the race thing. It's not like it was before, and what happened way back then is over. Let's move on. Besides, slavery happened a long time ago (that's a relative statement; my maternal great-grandmother was raised on a plantation), and, "my ancestors weren't responsible for slavery."

I'm not going to discuss my personal adventures experiencing racism. Instead, I'm going to re-post a conversation from an earlier blog, ("My Story") that I've been having with "Anonymous", who I thank very sincerely for highlighting this fo…